Waiting...Waiting....Waiting

*Tapping fingers impatiently* Hell, I did that for about 11 months, actually; I waited for something that just wasnt fated, as Lauryn Hill said in her duet with Mary J. Blige in "I Used to Love Him" off her freshman album, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. What w as it I waited for? I waited for someone to love me inworld when it was never going to happen beyond the love of friendship! And I am not the only one that has done this. As a matter of fact I know someone currently doing this. But you can tell someone your story, they could have been right there when you were going through your pain and it would not matter. People typically learn the HARD way!

Now I won't just make this post about the inidivdual's that hold onto something that is nothing because that wouldn't exactly be fair. I am going to speak on both parties. While we have to be responsible for being wise enough to see the light well in advance, the parties allowing us to feel this way, a lot of times without honesty and for their own selfish reasons, have to own up to their part in this as well! It may be one sided in emotions but it sure as hell isn't one sided in actions!

I notice that a lot of behaviors we exhibit in Second Life as far as relationships is something we wouldn't take in our real lives. I don't see why we don't pattern SOME behaviors after real life and carry them over to Second Life to be happy there. I admit it; I am guilty of holding onto someone, hoping for that commitment to roll around and end up being the best friend. But I can guarantee you it won't happen a third time in real life or Second Life and you can mark my words on that!

But I digress...It seems its a lot of women waiting around in Second Life for one particular person. We are at his beck and call while he does what he wants when he pleases. We can't rely on him to escort us to events like weddings, formal parties, or couples' parties, because, hey, guess what? YOU AREN'T A COUPLE! (now the guy I dealt with actually DID take me to all these places, hence my confusion!) Why would he have himself look like he is off the market by going to an event with you and have people talk? But he WILL take you to a club, jump on the grind her poseball, and then take you home to have ACT like he is your man in his TNT sex bed! And we see nothing wrong with that because eventually he will come around right? WRONG! So very WRONG!

While he is getting his rocks off and you are falling deeper into love, he is IMing the next chick he hit up while you were in that same club and convincing her you aren't a couple. And you are none the wiser. None the wiser, but you HAVE to be wiser. I am not saying be suspicious of EVERY man you come across, but be suspicious of THIS one you are dealing with. You have to look closely at this individual's pattern of behavior.

• Does he hint he needs something to better himself or to keep himself together knowing you will help him out but when you have a basic need to be met such as your tier being paid, he doesn't have it? A little convenient wouldn't you say?
• When you want to do something, does he not answer your IMs, or he says he is busy with mo explanation where he usually has one? He is with someone else at the time! And when he gets ready, he will answer you or come to see you and you will put up with it once again.
• Does he telelport outof your "quality time" together stating he has "something to do" or he will "be right back" and then you don't hear from him again? Wonder what that could mean? Hmmm...perhaps THE NEXT CHICK?
• Does he have a "key" to you house (that oh so sacred landmark we don't allow people to make at our house but give to select people..its a key because no one else can get in), or does he not have a place at all but rezzes at yours, does he have mapping rights to you but you have NONE to him? Yeah, pretty much, it's all you and NONE of him!
• Ever been around him and other females and they give you the side eye or snub you all together? That's because he is feeding them the same bullshit he is feeding YOU!

The signs are there, ladies, we just have to read them! And trust me when I say reading is fundamental! Don't give out more than you get, don't forget who your friends are for this type of person because when they leave you, and they WILL, you just might find yourself BY YOURSELF, and most importantly, DON'T LOSE YOU!

Now Fellas, you aren't getting off quite so easy because you have been easily getting off...pun intended! You should do better! Its a shortage of good men on the world as it is, and you want to come into Second Life and do the SAME THING you do in real life? Wow! That's low! Let us have SOMETHING! Yes, I am aware its a make believe world. But who has lies, deceptions, untruths, fallacies, falsehoods (yes, I am using just about every adjective I can for the dishonesty (there goes another one)) and all the other unnecessary drama in their fantasy? Who in their right mind would wish for THAT? Apparently, you don't know women as well as you portray because if you did you would know women are mental creatures..no, strike that, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL creatures! Your lack of understanding of women in real life shows greatly by your actions in Second Life. You are doing things you would not DARE in real life! You either know better, which is likely the case or your real life is the EXACT opposite of your Second Life. Okay, in all fairness, your Second Life should be a life lived better than your real life but BETTER is the operative word here.

You use women for sex and money. What part of the game is THAT? No, really, what part of the game is that supposed to fit into? You have to tell lie upon lie to keep up with the initial lie. And that's how you want to live in Second Life? You want to hurt people, be on edge, and never have that mental relaxation? Sucks for you and everyone you encounter, doesn't it? This does not a man make. By no means! And you need to take an evaluation of yourself and your ways before you come and infect others with your poison!

Be wiser, about who you allow into your Second Life, be stronger when it comes to saying , "NO!", putting your foot down, and cutting the bad people out of your Second Life and your real lives, and most of all be HONEST with yourself and especially others.

Second Life Drama

Our 1st lives are topsy turvy and this should be an outlet
but its a shame all of the drama SecondLife begets
when one has to go out of their way to keep shit going
you can just analyze
and scrutinize
fully knowing
that they may as well start a group entitled Misery
they wallow in self pity and want company
Bitches look at profiles and see partner statuses filled
and have the audacity to step to your man STILL
Lame dudes steady thinking they can take an inch a mile
cuz they balling inworld with payment info on file
And this one and that one getting in virtual fights
cuz people don't seem to know how to control them Xcites
Seems people tend to forget that behind each of these avatars
are real people, real emotions, and actions leave scars
please make no bones that you gone pay for that drama
because actions breed consequences, you gone feel that karma
"That bitch don't look like her avi!" Chick, NEITHER DO YOU!
Its SL and we really arent supposed to!
Tell me what sense does it make if I look just like me
when I am supposed to be perfection in the world of 3D?
Dudes thinking they the truth cuz the avis custom made
so they promiscuous, slanging primis and making prim babies
Its a shame when you wade so deep in bullshit
that the phrase you need a 3rd life to get over your 2nd life fits
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s the most dramatic of them all?
If you peer in the looking glass and it shows you
Then you got some rethinking of your strategy to do

Be What You Wanna Be..Do What You Wanna Do!

Um, um, um...boy, I tell you! SecondLife really does open your eyes to the personalities and mentalities of people. You can really tell a lot about them based on what they say and their behaviors and judge them STRICTLY on that because you can't TOTALLY judge them by appearance! Everybody in Second Life is rich and beutiful! And that in itself is a gift and a curse. First, I will explain why its a gift, then elaborate on why its a curse.

The Gift

The whole beauty of Second Life is that you can be what you wanna be, look how you want to look, and have everything you cannot have in you real life. You don't have to worry that you haven't lost those ten pounds you been dying to lose, you just reduce your body fat or thicnkess and VOILA! If your nose is too wide, trim it down with JUST the click or two of your mouse. No agonizing weeks of recovery, bandaged face like mummy, or bruising! Ass like a pancake? Well, get that pretty, round brown the gym ain't doing for you in real life and you cannot afford to got to Bzrazil to get and watch how fast your milkshake will bring ALL the boys to the yard! You can be Caucasian, African- American, Latin, Asian, Indian, or heck, even Avatar Blue! And someone will love you just like that! That's so beautiful! Real life is not like that. You cannot telelport to where someone likes people who dress like cats and find that speacial someone. That is something you have to search high and low for and fear public ridicule. In Second Life, we pass people like that every where we go and keep going. We don't stop and stare, make comments in local chat (in real life it would be aloud), we just let people be!
Work at McDonald's under a crappy boss making minimum wage? Well, not in Second Life! You don't have to work for a damn soul! You can definitely be your own boss, chose what job you want if you do decide to work for someone else, set your own hours, and in most cases demand the salary you deserve.
Live in public housing or stuck with the parents? Heck no! Not in Second Life! You can own as many houses as you want, as much land as you want, and live on a beautiful, pollution free piece of property where the sun is always shining and the water is always blue!
Ride the bus? Walking? Stuck on the train? Have an awful car? Have a car with even more awful car payments? Well, in Second Life, you can have a Bentley, Beemer AND a Benz! I should know; I have an Aston Martin, a Ducati, a Challenger, and a few choppers. And in real life? Well, lets just say the brakes on my car haven't failed so I guess it won't be recalled and I am stuck with it! Okay, let me not be ungreatful, its a good, reliable car and its in great condition but it ain't an Aston Martin and I wouldn't buy it in Second Life!
Let me not start on clothes and jewels...oy, vey! In Second Life every married woman I have seen has at least 4 or 5 carats rings from the likes of JCNY, rocks over a thousand linden a pop Stiletto Moody's, sports six hundred dollar outfits from stores like Samahi Coture and Deetalez, and has 200 linden hairstyles from places such as Analog Dog. I am single but trust I have lots of bling and rock some rocks! I am usually in the best six inch heels lindens can buy and I am red carpet ready without one hair our of place! I would not be caught dead in freebie (in real life I guess that would equate to WalMart, KMart, Beall's..etc.) clothes, shoes, or jewels. I would not rezz somewhere like a Help Island (that's equivalent to being homeless) because I have a beautiful piece of property I bust my pixelized ass to keep and its hot! And oh, I have that dream job I would kill for in real life and I make a pretty decent salary considering. That's the utter beauty of it all! You can have it all and most of us make sure we do!

The Curse

Alas, we reach the curse...as wonderful as the world of Second Life is, it has its downs. The reason I was even prompted to write this entry was due to a conference that came up form a person, and this time she/he will remain nameless because frankly, I feel sorry for said individual. I will explain why now. The conference started off with a random fat girl joke. Now I am SURE someone, not excluding me, in that conference is a fat girl in real life. And The said person having children, I am sure they/their significant other may have picked up some weight as a result. I highly doubt they remained all tight like a virgin in any way, shape or form, no pun intended. Yet, every one laughed like it wasn't them they were bashing and like said person really has a leg to stand on with no first life picture to prove it! See, some Second Lifers get really dilussional and are under the bad impression they are actually their avatars. No, you aren't! We are all here to escape from reality. And no matter how much shit 1 may talk, you don't like SHIT like that avatar! Flat, six pack abs, flawless skin, perfect white teeth my ass! Not sitting behind a computer all day or night! You would have your ass on a runway and damn sure wouldn't have a moment to spare five to twelve hours on Second Life! And then they talk about how people on Second Life have no life...pretty much, in a nutshell. But just think about it, Einstein, you would have to be logged in as much as they people you bash are to know that!
And really, why do you care WHAT someone's first life looks like anyway? Were you trying to date him? Were you trying to her new BFF, Paris (Paris Hilton)? You're just wanting to see how flawed they are in real life so you can bash them about that because you're jealous of a bunch of 3D pixels beautifully made that has more than you do! Shame! You came to Second Life to escape all that only to repeat the same shit in that life too! Really? Who does that? Oh, YOU do that, that's who! A lot of people do it!
And its a shame 1 has to be leery of being criticized and judged and fear someone will say, "He/she don't look shit like their avatar?"! *Noted sarcasm* Because you know YOU do look JUST LIKE YOURS, right! They don't post first life pictures for this very reason! A person can't even be confident about how they look because some unhappy person on the other side of the screen is ready to pick them apart for that! And solely for that! And its sad. I find it sad that one cannot accept a person based on their personality and has to see them only to ruin their fantasy because that person is not their type. Even if you hadn't plan to meet them, it can ruin what could have been a beautiful thing. And the whole purpose of Second Life is to live a better way than your first life. Without being judged for being what someone may consider too poor, too fat, too skinny, too dark, etc.! Second Life is the escape but some ignorant people are still trapped. And its a shame they will never understand that true beauty is more than skin deep. They need a third life to get over their Second!

Do Your Homework!

Just a little word of advice my dear Second Lifers, DO YOUR HOMEWORK! Now usually I am not 1 to start shit. I keep to myself, I mind my own, & I skate past the drama. But, please, please, please, oh, pretty PLEASE, don't fuck with me! I am either sweeter than sugar or bitter as a lemon! For me, there is NO in between! So, when you opt to lie to me and piss me off, all hell breaks loose! Oh, how I would have LOVED for my very first blog to have been a joyous one but this is not the case! Recently, I was dating someone named BJ Raleigh (there have been NO names changed to protetect ANY identities because frankly the bastard needs to be exposed in as many forums as I possibly can!) on Second Life. This relationship was one I got into after about 11 months of trying and trying to be with someone who was really better off as my friend and not an iota more. Although the situation was hurtful throughout, it was for the best that we remained friends.

I haven't had the best of luck on love on Second Life. As a matter of fact if it wasn't for bad luck, I would have ANY AT ALL! But when I met BJ, I figured my luck was bound to change. And for a good month or so, it did! I shared my experiences with love on Second Life and he knew what I had been through and for how long. We got along great, we had chemistry, and I saw a future for us! Or so I thought.

Then he started not logging when he said he would, he had a story for when he didn't and then a story for THAT story! It was one lie after another on a DAILY basis! I gave him the benefit of the doubt OVER and OVER but I decided just wasn't going to put up with the bullshit! So the conversation went like this when I caught up to him on Yahoo!:

(I asked why he never bothered to log back in after he got home on Saturday after he went to the "club". I gather now he probably never went to any club. I pretty sure he was just lying because the other woman was logging in):

The Biggest Loser: I did not get good till 3:45

A Bewildered Me: and have made no attempt to log since then

A Bewildered Me: lets just face it, SL is not your thing

A Bewildered Me: I mean I like you but you aren't willing to put forth the time and effort for SL..Its not for everybody

A Bewildered Me: Yahoo! Is cool but its not really interactive and I like the whole thing of being able to interact with people

The Biggest Loser: Its really not in sorry

A Bewildered Me: no, I;m sorry

A Bewildered Me: because I really do like you and I felt like you were worth letting my guard down

A Bewildered Me: and you made me feel like a fool

A Bewildered Me: and you haven't been tyring or honest

A Bewildered Me: no love lost

A Bewildered Me: it is what it is

I was at such a loss for words! I could not believe he gave up THAT easily! I mean if you were digging me like you said, wanted to really prove you weren't a liar and that you wanted to make it work, why the quick, fast and in a hurry exit? That just didn't sit right with me! I didn't get closure, and you know women need that! Hell, PEOPLE need that!

So I decided to search his name. I came up with just his profile because no 1 thinks enough of this lame to add him to their picks except when I did. I admit, I was feeling the lame ass dude! But was searching his name to see if he had taken me out of his picks, to see if he had left all together AND to see if someone else had them in THEIR picks. I had every intention of IMing him to ask WHY he let me just walk away so easily, and THAT'S when I saw the pick of the next woman!

My blood certainly began to BOIL! It was LITERALLY the NEXT day! Like, really? What part of the game (both real life and Second Life in terms of game) is THAT? So, common sense tells me, I was the sideline chick, or she was. I am inclined to think I was but then again I wasn't primming him and aren't sideline chicks used mainly for that purpose? Maybe he was waiting to build my trust to get to that point..hell, I don't know but he was going to be hella disappointed because there would not have been ANY primming with someone who I had no deep relationship with and who logged when he felt like it. Also who I had trust issues with because they ADMITTED they lied on several occasions when caught all up in their shit! I guess maybe she was more of a "free spirit"...I can't call it, but this ain't about her.

See, and allow me to go off topic here, but not really, women tend to blame the female when they discover their dude is not a stand up guy. They do this before they find out all the details, before they ask questions or investigate, before they look at how their man had been behaving and for how long. Again, you GOTTA do your homework! And be thorough in it so you know who is really to blame.

Anyhow, back to the lesson at hand. I knew I had seen her face someplace. I knew but I couldn't put a finger on it. I wasn't about to search her by just her first name! Second Life has MILLIONS of user and I myself have seen SEVERAL with the same first names. That was far from feasible to do a name search on only a 1st name basis. So I thought for a minute and used my resources. I went to my groups. I decided to check the more popular 1s first. I checked my job's group first. BJ's trifling ass wasSTILL in it of course (I know, ballsy right?) and lo and behold, behold and LO, so was SHE! Hot damn! I got that in ONE SHOT! So I did what comes naturally, I hit her up!

Of course she asked the typical, where did you meet, how long you known him, when did it end...and then for evidence. I gladly provided both IMs and locat chats for her viewing pleasure. Then I hit him up and told him that unlike him, I am not a coward and I told him I hit her up. Simple ass bastard! Like, really and truly, the NEXT DAMN DAY, BJ? You couldn't tell me you wanted more out of the relationship we had or that, hell it just wasn't working for you? Damn! He could have been a man about it! But that would have been too hard. And he wanted the easy way out. That's why he was so agreeable when I told him he should admit he is not feeling Second Life.

Now I don't particularly care if she stays with him or not. Its not like I want his ass back. But its a buncha lame ass Negros running around in this 3D World doing foul shit they could NEVER pull of in real life, and since Second Life is an escape from the bullshit in real life I'll be DAMNED if you come ruin MYperfect, make-believe world! And I plan to expose their asses for what they really are. If you ruin my fantasy, boo-boo, I ruin YOURS! Fuck..THAT!

I paid attention in class, I studied at home and I did the extra credit! I DO MY HOMEWORK! I blindsided his ass just like he blindsided me! He didn't play the game half as good as I can. Simpleton! I fly above, BJ Raleigh, and you are beneath me!