As Long As I'm Happy..SCREW YOU!

Yes, it is I! Back again with my rants, raves, gripes, and grunts! As, usual, they are valid and well deserved. *Sighs* Where should I begin? Oh, FIRST let me put a little disclaimer out there 
*If anything in this post offends you, GOOD! Maybe you will think about someone OTHER  than your SELF*
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...
Typically, n0t always, but more so lately, I don't complain about being single in SL. I work on and off, I shop constantly, I am a Diva Queen in my sorority, and I do my fashion blogging for myself and Scarlett Niven. Coupled with my RL, I am pretty occupied. But, and there is ALWAYS a but, there are times when I sit idly by and twiddle my thumbs. Those are  the times I would love to have..well, love in SL. But, as I stated  in prior posts, it is ever elusive of my pixelized self.
Now what gets me is that I have those closest to me and some that I allow a glimpse into my SL because they are really awesome people, have decided, UNSOLICITED, that they would help me attain the happiness they have. They talk about how great things are for them,  I see the pictures, I see their SL Facebook statuses, I see the changed display names with his last name...Like, REALLY? And no, I am not jealous, green never looked that good on me. But damn sometimes its like, pour SALT all up and thru my wounds why dontcha?
You are all cocooned in your happiness and its like you are damn Biggie, "Fuck the world, don't ask me for SHIT! .." But as soon as yah shit hits the fan, hmmm...whose box are YOU in!? The single woman's box who is the shoulder you need! When my shoulder is cold, and you are once again in bliss, who is there to wrap an arm around me?
Now, I never do anything begrudgingly; if I listen to your problems I do it because I care and want you to know you have someone to confide in. But its just a TAD selfish of someone to know you have a good heart like that, to know you are a good person, to know you are very much interested and deserving of equal happiness to just rub it in every chance they get! Now I know that the people I personally associate with would never purposely throw something in my face, but put  yourself in my Moody's  and you would know what it feels like. So. pardon me if I don't want to be present and so and so's nuptials. I just lost that loving feeling right now, so to speak.
 Now, as far as guys getting at me on their own, I feel like a damn leper (not to offend any lepers) or like I have a branch growing out of my face or something! I rezz in a club, party, event or whatever and I see the dudes' cross hairs on me, I KNOW they are peeping my profile. Then they go to Shaniqua Boonquisha, with the tattoos from face to feet, hips and ass on 100, 50-11 piercings, with pasties over her nipples, her ass falling from under her skirt and you know that he hit her up! Mind you, her profile says, "If you broke, get da fuk out mah box...insert other ghetto text here" so immediately you know, if you want to even overlook all that OTHER superficial stuff, she doesn't have a brain in her damn head! But for some reason, that's what they want.
I am gonna be true to myself and always want to "date" a man so all that complexity of being bisexual and all that jazz "strictly" on Second Life? Well, you won't find me in that category. It's just not for me! I can't figure dudes out so a female would be much more complex! And, it goes against every thing I believe in. So, that's a negative! 
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know...I will of course, check back in when the wind blows. Hopefully, I am not singing the same sad song! Until then, toodles!

Year End Wrap Up

So, here it is, December 31st, and I survived another year in Second Life! I laughed, I cried, I lived, and I learned. It was another good year if for me. Granted, I didn't accomplish nearly as much as I wanted to, but I have ALREADY begun setting things in motion for a prosperous New Year in 2011 in real life, so why not do it for Second Life?
I am not even logging today because I am taking a breather from Second Life for a few days to enjoy friends and family and to kind of set a game plan in motion for things I want to accomplish. No, no, no, I did NOT make any resolutions; I never get a damn thing resolved when I do. Its just me deciding to make changes because I want to be the happiest I can be in real life AND my Second Life.
Most people I know in Second Life, spend a pretty fair amount of time inworld. Since we do so, its seems more likely that we would be doing constructive things with our time. Unfortunately, I have seen just the opposite! Especially amongst the urban, also known as, the African-American community. I hope that going into my 3rd year on Second Life, I see unity and harmony. We have enough disharmony in our community in real life, it seems so very pointless to come to a place that is supposed to be set for happiness and continuing the same patterns. It just makes absolutely zero sense to be negative, hateful, and try and hold each other back.
Half of your running around saying you have drama, haters and that people are jealous of you don't have a clue! At the end of the day, this is just a science experiment conducted by Linden Labs, in which we are all mere lab rats. Its best if we try to remember that. There is absolutely nothing you have in this 3D pixelized world that ANYONE can't have! Its all in how you "play the game"! You can do ANYTHING you want in Second Life, be ANYONE you want and have ANYBODY!
There is no reason for any one person to single out another and hate them. Its beyond pointless. I mean we can find people to envy and despise in real life who have more than we do, or look better or have the "perfect mate." We can't change our lives to out liking like we can Second Life. So with ALL the opportunities out there for you to have it all and do it all, I URGE you STRONGLY to go for it. Network, connect, explore, expand...do all the things they say you can do on the Second Life main page! Its truly possible!
But if you don't grab Second Life by the horns, you won't have the joy and excitement to be had inworld. All you will find is misery, anger, and loneliness. At some point, people will realize who you are and at some point you will realize its not everyone else, its YOU!
So in closing, make the necessary changes to your real life to be happy there first THEN concentrate on doing the same in your Second Life. If that's not as easy as it sounds and its possible it isn't, then what are you on Second Life to do exactly? Are you there to DOUBLE your misery? I assume you are there for an escape. So take that chance to create some happiness SOMEWHERE in your life! You deserve it...know that, own that and LIVE THAT!

The Dean's List (A Poem for World AIDS Day)

Way back in the day in the 3-0-5
in the heart of the ghetto
when the city was getting live
was a beautiful young lady who was becoming full grown
who left her proper upbringing
to call the streets her home
she left to study the fast life
and become a scholar
to learn to use what she got
to get what she want
and to make her momma and daddy holla
Way back in the day in the 3-0-5
in the heart of the ghetto
when the city was just getting live
that young lady learned from a pimp
how to survive
oddly enough it was only he who thrived
she sought the attention, the money...yet it wasn't how she planned
when she learned
the money she earned
went directly to that man
and
Way back in the day in the 3-0-5
in the heart of the ghetto
when the city was fully alive
a lost young lady learned lessons, while on her back she lie
somewhere in the interim, she stopped to hve two daughters
and it seemed she had been schooled on all the streets had taught her
but she must have craved to learn more
for she was back out the door
she hadn't yet found what she was looking for
Way back in the day in the 3-0-5
in the heart of the ghetto
when the the city got far too live
a mysterious little bug hit some folks
and they quickly started dying
a lot of the wrong people, felt at ease
for this was the gay, white man's disease
and being on the streets
this fast young woman thought she
was excluded from that number
even though with strnge men she did slumber
remember she was schooled in the ways of the concrete jungle
she wasn't gay, she wasn't white
thought none of how she lived herlife was right
no doctor's visits, no yearly exams did she have
just day after day on the stroll on Biscayne Ave.
Way back in the day in the 3-0-5
in the heart of the ghetto
when the city was getting live
she reminisced on the mistake in her life
she recalled how sexy she was
how the men gave her money
so they could have a taste of her sweet honey
show she left her kids to be care free
only to have a fatal virus to carry
she remembered how she could blow
do some blow
and in the end
she was
FULL BLOWN!
Because way back in the day in the 3-0-5
in the heart of the ghetto
when the city was getting live
she studied all the easiest subjects
drinking, drugs and prostitution
in which she got straight As
but learned the hardest lesson of them all when she died from AIDS


*Dedicated to my cousin Dean Wynn who lost her life to AIDS*

Me, me, me, me, ME!

No, I am not singing..I don't have shit to sing about right now in my Second Life. But I am not gonna make this post entirely about me right now. I will dedicate that to another post eve though this one is aptly titled.
This month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. My sorority, Divas Inc., has been doing a lot of events for the cause. Now normally, when we do an event, we GIVE away items. It gets packed, people show up! But now that we are ASKING for donations for a REAL LIFE disease that's killing THOUSANDS if not and affecting MILLIONS of women every year  and EVERYONE is wrapped up in their own issues! Here are the statistics:

The American Cancer Society's most recent estimates for breast cancer in the United States are for 2010:

• About 207,090 new cases of invasive breast cancer in women
• About 54,010 new cases of carcinoma in situ (CIS) will be found (CIS is non-invasive and is the earliest form of breast cancer).
• About 39,840 deaths from breast cancer (women)

Breast cancer is the most common cancer among women in the United States, other than skin cancer. It is the second leading cause of cancer death in women, after lung cancer.

The chance of a woman having invasive breast cancer some time during her life is a little less 1 in 8. The chance of dying from breast cancer is about 1 in 35. Breast cancer death rates have been going down. This is probably the result of finding the cancer earlier and better treatment. Right now there are more than 2½ million breast cancer survivors in the United States.

One person even had the audacity to say, and I quote, "I didn't feel like doing that tonight." I was fucking FLOORED! You mean t say you couldn't come drop off a donation and leave? WOW! I am UTTERLY speechless!

You're a Shining Star...No Matter Who You Are!

I am pissed...well, actually, I am LIVID! I got fired from my Second Life job, a job I was NOT ALLOWED to grow in mind you! I am an EVENT PLANNER! I do not promote; that is NOT what my resume says! Yet, I was not utilized for anything my resume entails and was expected to turn water into wine and get blood from a turnip!
Now that I got that out of my system, I will vent less randomly. The station I worked for does the same events week after week, month after month. I offered MULTIPLE times to plan an event but was ignored and blown off as if I didn't have the ideas or know how to bring life into that place. Yet, others were allowed to randomly come in and throw themed events WITH contests. I suggested that many times, to be ignored or have the sim owner act like it wasn't in the budget.Yeah, sure it wasn't; not for ME! It was in the budget for EVERYONE else. I must, however, say that 2 DJs gave that dead sim some life on Fridays and Saturdays! They are excellent DJs, they do POPPING events and I hope they jump ship the sim owner! It would be her karma!
I would get events a couple of days before the actual event, NEVER in ample time, and IF AT ALL! As an Event Promoter, they need events well in advance but I worked with what I got anyway because that's how I am! I DO MY FUCKING JOB REGARDLESS! So, all of a sudden it wasn't in the budget for me as a promoter but oh, I could still host! 
I was stuck hosting for an asshole DJ who was a complete Diva! I rarely complained about him! None of the other DJs would support his cocky, demanding, obnoxious, sarcastic, RUDE ass! Like, EVER! I put up with his shit for almost a year and watched the sim owner lick his boots and kiss his ass, and trust, he gave everyone his ass to kiss! Then she turns around, kicks me when I am down and fires me! Ain't that some SHIT!? 
I am having major issues with the nerves in my hand. Unfortunately, typing is hard and I was so miserable (and I STILL AM!) I didn't log for  week. I missed 1 fucking event! I was replaced with no warning, no notecard, she didn't even ask how the fuck I was doing! She  knew I had issues AND I even contacted DJ Asshole to keep him up to speed! Do you think he bothered to stand up for me? Of course not! all she could say to  me was he needs support. Because what I was doing wasn't shit, right? UTTER BULLSHIT!
I will never do less than I am capable of for ANYONE again! EVER! People don't appreciate you when you do and don't see your worth! Shine WHEREVER you go and know you ARE A STAR!

Waiting...Waiting....Waiting

*Tapping fingers impatiently* Hell, I did that for about 11 months, actually; I waited for something that just wasnt fated, as Lauryn Hill said in her duet with Mary J. Blige in "I Used to Love Him" off her freshman album, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. What w as it I waited for? I waited for someone to love me inworld when it was never going to happen beyond the love of friendship! And I am not the only one that has done this. As a matter of fact I know someone currently doing this. But you can tell someone your story, they could have been right there when you were going through your pain and it would not matter. People typically learn the HARD way!

Now I won't just make this post about the inidivdual's that hold onto something that is nothing because that wouldn't exactly be fair. I am going to speak on both parties. While we have to be responsible for being wise enough to see the light well in advance, the parties allowing us to feel this way, a lot of times without honesty and for their own selfish reasons, have to own up to their part in this as well! It may be one sided in emotions but it sure as hell isn't one sided in actions!

I notice that a lot of behaviors we exhibit in Second Life as far as relationships is something we wouldn't take in our real lives. I don't see why we don't pattern SOME behaviors after real life and carry them over to Second Life to be happy there. I admit it; I am guilty of holding onto someone, hoping for that commitment to roll around and end up being the best friend. But I can guarantee you it won't happen a third time in real life or Second Life and you can mark my words on that!

But I digress...It seems its a lot of women waiting around in Second Life for one particular person. We are at his beck and call while he does what he wants when he pleases. We can't rely on him to escort us to events like weddings, formal parties, or couples' parties, because, hey, guess what? YOU AREN'T A COUPLE! (now the guy I dealt with actually DID take me to all these places, hence my confusion!) Why would he have himself look like he is off the market by going to an event with you and have people talk? But he WILL take you to a club, jump on the grind her poseball, and then take you home to have ACT like he is your man in his TNT sex bed! And we see nothing wrong with that because eventually he will come around right? WRONG! So very WRONG!

While he is getting his rocks off and you are falling deeper into love, he is IMing the next chick he hit up while you were in that same club and convincing her you aren't a couple. And you are none the wiser. None the wiser, but you HAVE to be wiser. I am not saying be suspicious of EVERY man you come across, but be suspicious of THIS one you are dealing with. You have to look closely at this individual's pattern of behavior.

• Does he hint he needs something to better himself or to keep himself together knowing you will help him out but when you have a basic need to be met such as your tier being paid, he doesn't have it? A little convenient wouldn't you say?
• When you want to do something, does he not answer your IMs, or he says he is busy with mo explanation where he usually has one? He is with someone else at the time! And when he gets ready, he will answer you or come to see you and you will put up with it once again.
• Does he telelport outof your "quality time" together stating he has "something to do" or he will "be right back" and then you don't hear from him again? Wonder what that could mean? Hmmm...perhaps THE NEXT CHICK?
• Does he have a "key" to you house (that oh so sacred landmark we don't allow people to make at our house but give to select people..its a key because no one else can get in), or does he not have a place at all but rezzes at yours, does he have mapping rights to you but you have NONE to him? Yeah, pretty much, it's all you and NONE of him!
• Ever been around him and other females and they give you the side eye or snub you all together? That's because he is feeding them the same bullshit he is feeding YOU!

The signs are there, ladies, we just have to read them! And trust me when I say reading is fundamental! Don't give out more than you get, don't forget who your friends are for this type of person because when they leave you, and they WILL, you just might find yourself BY YOURSELF, and most importantly, DON'T LOSE YOU!

Now Fellas, you aren't getting off quite so easy because you have been easily getting off...pun intended! You should do better! Its a shortage of good men on the world as it is, and you want to come into Second Life and do the SAME THING you do in real life? Wow! That's low! Let us have SOMETHING! Yes, I am aware its a make believe world. But who has lies, deceptions, untruths, fallacies, falsehoods (yes, I am using just about every adjective I can for the dishonesty (there goes another one)) and all the other unnecessary drama in their fantasy? Who in their right mind would wish for THAT? Apparently, you don't know women as well as you portray because if you did you would know women are mental creatures..no, strike that, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL creatures! Your lack of understanding of women in real life shows greatly by your actions in Second Life. You are doing things you would not DARE in real life! You either know better, which is likely the case or your real life is the EXACT opposite of your Second Life. Okay, in all fairness, your Second Life should be a life lived better than your real life but BETTER is the operative word here.

You use women for sex and money. What part of the game is THAT? No, really, what part of the game is that supposed to fit into? You have to tell lie upon lie to keep up with the initial lie. And that's how you want to live in Second Life? You want to hurt people, be on edge, and never have that mental relaxation? Sucks for you and everyone you encounter, doesn't it? This does not a man make. By no means! And you need to take an evaluation of yourself and your ways before you come and infect others with your poison!

Be wiser, about who you allow into your Second Life, be stronger when it comes to saying , "NO!", putting your foot down, and cutting the bad people out of your Second Life and your real lives, and most of all be HONEST with yourself and especially others.

Second Life Drama

Our 1st lives are topsy turvy and this should be an outlet
but its a shame all of the drama SecondLife begets
when one has to go out of their way to keep shit going
you can just analyze
and scrutinize
fully knowing
that they may as well start a group entitled Misery
they wallow in self pity and want company
Bitches look at profiles and see partner statuses filled
and have the audacity to step to your man STILL
Lame dudes steady thinking they can take an inch a mile
cuz they balling inworld with payment info on file
And this one and that one getting in virtual fights
cuz people don't seem to know how to control them Xcites
Seems people tend to forget that behind each of these avatars
are real people, real emotions, and actions leave scars
please make no bones that you gone pay for that drama
because actions breed consequences, you gone feel that karma
"That bitch don't look like her avi!" Chick, NEITHER DO YOU!
Its SL and we really arent supposed to!
Tell me what sense does it make if I look just like me
when I am supposed to be perfection in the world of 3D?
Dudes thinking they the truth cuz the avis custom made
so they promiscuous, slanging primis and making prim babies
Its a shame when you wade so deep in bullshit
that the phrase you need a 3rd life to get over your 2nd life fits
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s the most dramatic of them all?
If you peer in the looking glass and it shows you
Then you got some rethinking of your strategy to do